Saturday, 14 January 2012
Friday the 13th?? No, just a regular old, frustrating day
Ever have days where it just seems like no matter what you do or how hard you try, things just don't go the way you would like or plan? Yesterday was like that for me. I had a list of things I needed to do on Friday and I was determined to get things done smoothly and as quickly as possible. And of course, everything that could go wrong seemed to go wrong. And so, it all took longer and I felt frustrated. My dream of getting things done efficiently and well went right out the door. And to top it all off, because I was pressuring myself to get done, I made mistakes and I forgot things. Domino effect... needless to say, I was not happy with myself. You might think, what's the big deal?? Maybe in the big scheme of things it isn't, but yesterday was a day that I just really wanted to do things well and feel good about it and instead I ended up feeling frustrated and inadequate. Hopefully, this week will be filled with much better days.
Wednesday, 4 January 2012
A New Year and Peace
Listening to a CD this morning and a song sparks memories..."My Peace I Give You". Maybe because I just talked a couple of nights ago with my daughter how God gave a peace that passes all understanding when I literally felt His hand on my shoulder one night many years ago. My dad was in an intensive care unit after complications from a kidney transplant and me and my siblings were gathered in a small room in the intensive care waiting area. We were upset and very frustrated with doctors and stressed. It was so painful watching my dad suffer and we just did not know what to do. And so we began reading scripture (particularly the Psalms), praying and even singing which is something we normally did not do together. But it is times like these that you become desperate for God. It was as we were reading Psalm 46 :10 "Be still and know that I am God" that I and others literally felt God's hand on our shoulder and an incredible peace filled us!! I said to my siblings that I needed to tell mom who was with my dad. When I came there and told her, she said she had felt it too. It was so amazing. God did some incredible and amazing things that week through my dad and we really thought he was going to get better and would have some incredible things to tell but unexpectedly my dad died on October 31, 1988, a week after complications began.
They had 'lost' dad briefly right after complications began but were able to resuscitate him. One of the first things my dad did when I first saw him after that, was squeeze my hand SO hard and nodded as vigorously as he could when I told Him that Jesus was with him. He then pointed and was trying to ask about the kidney and I saw a tear shed when I told him that they had to remove the donated kidney. He had been so excited to receive it. But after that he did not talk about the loss, all he wanted to pass on was what he had experienced and that God was real!! He never talked much about his faith or God before and that week it was all that mattered and so important to him. That in itself spoke volumes to us. It was often difficult for him to talk because of tubes and meds, etc. but one of the first things that he said was "that God told him he could not stay because his work was not yet done". That is why we thought he would get well and have incredible things to do and tell but in that last week God used him in very powerful ways.
My dad was very involved in the business community and in the kidney foundation and so there were many people at his funeral who did not know God and we heard later from many who said that the things my dad said and his experience really touched their lives. I am the exact age my dad was at that time and this past year God really put it on my heart that I needed to tell my dad's story again at our family reunion because so many of the grandkids and younger members of the family were so young or not even born and did not know him or his story. During that last week, he told his pastor to "tell the people to love the Lord...tell the people"...and he also said to my mom, "God is so almighty, how are we going to tell everyone?" He also said that "sometimes we have to suffer to learn but we will never suffer as much as Jesus did for us on the cross." The way he spoke it was as if God had taken my dad right to the cross. We were amazed.
Only one other time before had I felt God's hand on my shoulder so literally and that was as I was singing 'Thy Word' during the final concert of 'Reflection", a group Henry and I were part of in Lethbridge before we moved to B.C. That was just a few months before my dad died. Was God already then giving me a real sense of His presence with me and preparing me for what was to come a few months later?
And so all of this comes back to me this morning at the beginning of a new year. God is real, He is there and He gives us His peace. A peace that passes all understanding. It can come in the middle of our storms in life. God is with us in our joys and in our sorrows, in our laughter and our tears. In this New Year ahead there will be laughter and there will be tears but I pray that no matter what, we remember that God's presence and His peace will always be with us.
They had 'lost' dad briefly right after complications began but were able to resuscitate him. One of the first things my dad did when I first saw him after that, was squeeze my hand SO hard and nodded as vigorously as he could when I told Him that Jesus was with him. He then pointed and was trying to ask about the kidney and I saw a tear shed when I told him that they had to remove the donated kidney. He had been so excited to receive it. But after that he did not talk about the loss, all he wanted to pass on was what he had experienced and that God was real!! He never talked much about his faith or God before and that week it was all that mattered and so important to him. That in itself spoke volumes to us. It was often difficult for him to talk because of tubes and meds, etc. but one of the first things that he said was "that God told him he could not stay because his work was not yet done". That is why we thought he would get well and have incredible things to do and tell but in that last week God used him in very powerful ways.
My dad was very involved in the business community and in the kidney foundation and so there were many people at his funeral who did not know God and we heard later from many who said that the things my dad said and his experience really touched their lives. I am the exact age my dad was at that time and this past year God really put it on my heart that I needed to tell my dad's story again at our family reunion because so many of the grandkids and younger members of the family were so young or not even born and did not know him or his story. During that last week, he told his pastor to "tell the people to love the Lord...tell the people"...and he also said to my mom, "God is so almighty, how are we going to tell everyone?" He also said that "sometimes we have to suffer to learn but we will never suffer as much as Jesus did for us on the cross." The way he spoke it was as if God had taken my dad right to the cross. We were amazed.
Only one other time before had I felt God's hand on my shoulder so literally and that was as I was singing 'Thy Word' during the final concert of 'Reflection", a group Henry and I were part of in Lethbridge before we moved to B.C. That was just a few months before my dad died. Was God already then giving me a real sense of His presence with me and preparing me for what was to come a few months later?
And so all of this comes back to me this morning at the beginning of a new year. God is real, He is there and He gives us His peace. A peace that passes all understanding. It can come in the middle of our storms in life. God is with us in our joys and in our sorrows, in our laughter and our tears. In this New Year ahead there will be laughter and there will be tears but I pray that no matter what, we remember that God's presence and His peace will always be with us.
Dad, that last week was a very hard week for all of us and we miss you even after all these years. I thank you for the testimony you left us. You would be so proud of your grandkids and great grandkids. Our prayer is that they too will love and serve God with all of their hearts. We pray that your testimony will be passed on and that through us all, your kids, grandkids and great grandkids, we will continue to "tell people"through our lives that God is Almighty, that He is real and that He is LOVE!
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