Cup of Love

Way back when the kids were younger, probably more into their teens, we read somewhere about "filling our cups of love".  We are all like a cup that needs to be filled with love.  That can be done in a number of ways, but one way is through a hug.  So when one of the kids was kind of grumpy or out of sorts we would ask,  "Does your cup of love need filling?"  If you know teens at all, you know that hugs from mom and dad are not always appreciated, especially when one is grumpy or they do not even know thay have a need for love or want to even admit that.  So, in spite of some resistance, but really not too much resistance, we would give a big hug and just keep hugging until they said their cup was full.  It was kind of interesting, especially the first few times we tried it...whoever was the recipient would say they did not need to be hugged or was not in the mood for a hug but you could just feel them relax into that hug as you were giving it anyway.  They could be very stiff and unresponsive at first but as you kept hugging them they would relax and allow that hug to fill them.  Such an awesome feeling!  Sometimes it was a short hug ( and yeah, sometimes just because they definitely were not going to let themselves be "loved") and other times the hug would last quite a while.  That question, "does your cup of love need filling?" became a bit of a joke in our family but somewhere deep down it really did fill a need even when they did not want to admit it.  I'm not sure the kids remember those times so much or think about them, but I do. I still remember our kids, who I love dearly, slowly melting into that hug and letting the love from either me or their dad fill them up.  They just had to be willing to stay in that hug when at first they wanted to resist...to let that love fill and fill them till 'their cup was full' and even running over! 

Do we let God 'fill our cups of love'?  He patiently waits and even longs to fill us with His love and too often I am afraid that we resist just like our teenage kids did.  We think we don't need it or we are unworthy or whatever...what if we just stopped all of our busyness, our worrying, and just made some space...spent time with God alone, letting Him fill us till our cups overflow? 

Livable, Believable, Life-Giving

"All of Jesus’ rules of ministry, his “tips for the road,” are very interpersonal. They are based on putting people in touch with people. Person-to-person is the way the gospel was originally communicated. Person-in-love-with-person, person-respecting-person, person-forgiving-person, person-touching-person, person-crying-with-person, person-hugging-person: that’s where the Spirit is so beautifully present.

The challenge is to preach a gospel that is livable, believable, and life-giving. Perhaps that is the most simple criterion by which we can discern Jesus’ teaching. It is always a call to death but is always life-giving in the long run. When you see life being created between people and within people, you see God. Where you see God, you will always see freedom. Restraint and passion—that is the paradoxical experience of the Holy. It takes time to learn. You grow into the ability to love another in a way that totally gives yourself and entrusts yourself and yet respects that person and stands back."

Richard Rohr

An ordinary, not so ordinary day

Kind of an ordinary, stay-at-home kind of day today, Wednesday.  There are not too many of those these days.  So I guess this is not so ordinary, actually!  Did some laundry, made some soup, listened to some music while working, did some reading in the Book of John, had a not so ordinary time of prayer, had lunch, sent a couple of e-mails, more reading and reflection for a course I am going to take, made an appointment for a haircut, and then the doorbell rang.  A neighbour offered me some extra mulch that he had.  Oh, yes!!  I had been wondering if I should go get some for the backyard and here it was for free!!  What a gift!  He even delivered it.  So I helped him unload and then started wheeling it to the backyard.  It felt good to tuck it around the plants...hopefully it helps protect them through the winter. I only hope the neighbour's cat won't get into it as it usually does.  The sun was out and it was pretty warm today.  A blessed day!

Giving our Halves

Today our pastor gave a message on Matthew 14:13-21 (the feeding of the 5000).  The story begins with Jesus needing to go to a solitary place after hearing of the death of John the Baptist.  The crowd follows him and when Jesus sees them, it says, "he had compassion on them and healed their sick".  He did not send them away - no, he had compassion, he cared for them.  We heard that to have compassion means to "suffer with".

Today, Jesus calls us to be his hands and feet...we are the ones who need to see with his eyes and have compassion.  Sometimes that task seems overwhelming when there are so many who have needs. Sometimes the things we do to try to help don't seem like enough or we can get tired and feel like we don't have anything more to give.  What do we do?

There is a clue in the story of the feeding of the 5000.  Jesus told the disciples to feed all of the people and  the disciples reacted with "how?? We do not have enough food.  There are only 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish...impossible!"  Pretty much how we would react, I dare say!  And yet Jesus gives this mission to the disciples and enables them.  He blesses the bread and fish and the disciples take the 'little' and end up passing the food around, feeding well over 5000 people and even have 12 baskets leftover!!

We often can feel like we have little to give, or we are too small or it won't be enough for all of the needs around us.  We only have "halves".   Jesus challenges us to use our "only halves" and to bless...to give the little we have to offer and let him worry about the results.

Did I ever need to be reminded of that today.  We may have little or may be small but we have a BIG God who will use the little we have to offer and will multiply and bless.  It is not about us, it's about God!

This message also reminded me of a prayer meeting 3 years ago with prayer people from several churches in a house overlooking Kelowna.  I felt very small and insignificant.  I did not feel at all confident and our church "The Well"  was a very small church compared to some of the churches represented there.  At one point in the meeting, one of the ladies shared scripture that she felt was for me and "The Well".  It was the story of Gideon in Judges 6. God had asked Gideon to save Israel out of Midian's hand.  Gideon replies with "But Lord,...how can I save Israel?  My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family."  God answered, "I will be with you".   If you read the rest of the story you will see that God reduces Gideon's army down to only 300 and yet they do defeat the Midianites army of thousands.  Gideon was the least in his family, and his clan the smallest and yet because God was with him he was used mightily.  Another Gideon lesson, it took him a while to trust that God would work through him.  How like us too!  We too, often take some convincing that though we are small or have just a little to offer, if we just give what we have, use what we have and bless...God will work.  The disciples didn't think Jesus could feed the crowd with only 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish and Gideon didn't think someone like him could destroy the Midianites..but with God all things are possible!! 

Friday photos

I'm borrowing this idea from someone else...friday photos. 

 A picture is worth a thousand words as they say.

I love trying to capture beauty through the eyes of a camera.

 "Flowers on a fall day in my garden"

Thanksgiving

Yesterday we had a beautiful Thanksgiving service.  Our pastor, Ron, shared the story of Mark Gordon , a pastor here in Kelowna, who thought he had lost everything in a fire this summer. You can listen to his story here.  Mark Gordon shares his story in a message he gave to his congregation shortly after the fire.  The message begins at about 06:14.  If you also click on PDF you can watch the powerpoint slides while you listen. They include photos. 

There was an open mic time where people were invited to share what they were most thankful for in 2011.  Some shared via a poem, some shared thanks in a way that was out of the box,  for example: thankful for house repairs that needed to be done because it means we have a home.  All during this time I struggled with getting up to share the most important thing God had done in my life this year.  I just did not know for sure if I should or could because you feel quite vulnerable sharing something personal and I just did not know if I would be able to express it very well...and so I just could not get the courage to go and the time ended.   I was on the worship team and as we were singing the second last song, I just felt like I was supposed to share it and again I really did not know how to do that when it really was not the time anymore.  The song would end, Pastor Ron would give a blessing and we would sing the closing song.  I was feeling more strongly that I should share and yet was scared as anything.  Well, this time, pastor Ron paused for a bit before he was giving the blessing and I found myself asking if I could still share.  And so I did with a shaking heart.  Shared basically how all my life I have believed in God, loved Him and tried to serve Him as best I could.  I knew in my head that God loves us but in the past few years God has revealed to me that I did not really know that in my heart or even know His love as a Father.  I was actually surprised at that and did not even realize that. I thought I did.  I had no trouble believing God loved everyone else but for some reason did not truly feel like I deserved or was loved just the way I was. I see now that I was always trying to be "good enough" or trying to be "perfect" before I felt I could be really loved either by God or even by others.  God has taken me on a journey that has not been easy and though it has taken some time and slowly my heart was opened, it was only a few months ago when God used a series of songs and one song in particular to finally open the door completely to know His love was real and was for me too.  I cry just thinking about it and how God patiently and gently moved me from this place of head knowledge to heart knowledge of His love.  And that story is very similar to what I heard from Henry's uncle Nick, whose funeral we went to in Red Deer this past week.  So moving and powerful to hear once again his testimony and the story at his funeral.  God is so amazing that He cares so much for each of us and wants us all to truly know His love and works in each of us to bring us to that place...what grace to be loved just for who we are not what we think we should be...what a Big God he is!

I wish now that I had prepared something in writing to share because I felt like I was not clear when I was sharing and maybe was too emotional.  Not sure if what I was trying to say was coming through.  I also felt very vulnerable because you put yourself out there. And so, you second guess yourself wondering if you should have shared.  Praying God had people hear what they should hear and not the fumbling for words that I felt.  Following is the song that God spoke so powerfully through to me that June day...He IS my Father and He does love ME!   May you too feel His love for YOU!  That is what I am so thankful for this year...God's love becoming real.

Beauty Amidst the Storm

When I see a rainbow I always think of God and His promises. On Sunday, Sept 25, there had been dark clouds, rain and wind and then the sun came through while it was still raining and this beautiful, double rainbow appeared.  Wow, it was amazing!

Beauty in the midst of the storm  and a reminder of God's promises

Not about us

It's a grey, rainy day once again...the kind of day that invites reflection.  I know I should be getting some other things done but my mind just can't seem to focus on them.  This seems to be happening too much in the last little while.  Sometimes the everyday chores that need doing seem so repetitive and unimportant.  Hey, who really wants to pay bills, or clean or do laundry...yeah, I know, that all needs to get done but...later.

Yesterday, October 4, Henry's Uncle Nick passed away.  He had been battling cancer.  Such a horrible disease.  Cancer took a special uncle of mine also in October, 3 years ago. He was like a second dad to me. My dad also died in October when he was the same age that I am now, not from cancer though. That's another story.  I can only imagine what it must be like for them to see Jesus face to face for the first time.  Makes me think of the song  "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me.  That song moves me everytime I hear it.  Have a listen.

I don't really understand it but God really put it on my heart to pray for Uncle Nick & all of his family.  Some call it a "special burden" to pray but though it is an intense call to pray I don't feel it is a burden.  I wonder if there is a different word that might describe it more accurately but can't think what that might be at this time.  All I know is that God set me and I am sure many others to praying.  Why does He do that I wonder??  He doesn't need our prayers to bring comfort, encouragement or protection to those we pray for because He is LOVE,  He is COMFORT, He is PROTECTOR and He is ALL-POWERFUL!  Yet, He chooses to use us.  How humbling is that!  Is it because He wants to use His people to be His hands and feet to those He loves.  Is it because it draws His people closer together?  What do we miss if we don't listen to those calls or nudges?  We may never know what our prayers do but I am reminded that it is

not about us...it is about God!!

Through

Thinking and praying today for those who are going through very difficult times and I read this blog which really speaks to me and so I share it with you  here . 

Joshua 1:5 " I will never leave you or forsake you" 
 No matter what we go through, or what it might feel like, God does promise to be with us...to go through whatever it is we are going through with us.

From Isaiah 43

 ^I But now, this is what the LORD says—
   he who created you, Jacob,
   he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
   I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
² When you pass through the waters,
   I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
   they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
   you will not be burned;
   the flames will not set you ablaze.
³ For I am the LORD your God,
   the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

⁵ Do not be afraid, for I am with you;